EP265 Pleasure Positive Life Post Divorce with Rudy from Rude Advice
Divorce is a topic we haven't covered in over 250+ episodes. When we met Rudy, Host of the podcast Rude Advice, we were inspired. This man is the leading the way for Pleasure Positive Living after the end of a marriage. Rudy shares his story of growing apart from his spouse, cheating, and eventually filing for divorce. He highlights the importance of communication, co-parenting, and offers advice on how to overcome the taboo surrounding divorce and how to overcome challenges that come up in a relationship.
00:00:38 Divorce can happen to anyone.
00:09:51 Confidence and personality attract more.
00:12:17 Adjusting to partner's needs.
00:17:18 Women are more sexually confident.
00:20:53 Explore options before divorce.
00:28:05 Marriage requires selflessness and adaptation.
00:30:01 Prioritize your partner above all.
00:35:36 Prioritize your partner in parenthood.
00:40:16 Have honest conversations to avoid cheating.
00:49:41 Listen to your intuition.
00:55:05 Take ownership of your life.
00:55:56 Managing multiple platforms is tough.
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Listen to the Rude Advice Podcast | https://rudeadvice.podbean.com/
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Divorce and communication are key.
Divorce and communication are key. These are two important aspects of any relationship that can make or break it. In a recent podcast, the guest speaker shared his personal experience of being married for 16 years and ultimately getting divorced. He highlighted how communication issues and growing apart led to their separation.
The guest speaker got married at a young age of 21, and while he was in love with his high school sweetheart, family pressure played a significant role in their decision to get married. As time passed, they both grew apart, becoming different people. The arrival of children also shifted their focus to being parents rather than spouses, leading to a lack of effort in their relationship. The routine of work, kids' activities, and household chores left them with little time for each other, leading to further separation.
Sex was also a significant factor in their growing apart. The guest speaker shared how the routine of life left them with little time for intimacy, leading to a decline in their sex life. This further pushed them apart, leading to the guest speaker cheating on his wife, which he later confessed to her.
The guest speaker's story highlights how communication is vital in any relationship. He shared how he and his wife did not know how to communicate effectively, leading to a lack of listening and understanding. They only waited to talk, leading to further misunderstandings and separation. This lack of communication ultimately led to their divorce.
The guest speaker's story also highlights the importance of divorce. While divorce is often seen as taboo, it can be a necessary step to move on and find happiness. The guest speaker and his ex-wife had an amicable divorce and were great co-parents, even giving each other dating advice.
In conclusion, divorce and communication are key in any relationship. The guest speaker's story highlights how growing apart, lack of effort, and communication issues can lead to separation. It is essential to communicate effectively, listen, and understand each other's needs to maintain a healthy relationship. And if divorce is necessary, it can be a step towards finding happiness and moving on.
Personality trumps physical attraction.
However, the podcast also touches on the topic of dating and attraction. It is commonly believed that physical attraction is the most important factor in dating, but the guest speaker challenges this notion. He shares his experience of dating after his divorce and how he found personality to be the most attractive trait in a potential partner.
The guest speaker admits to finding dating incredibly easy and never having a problem finding a date. He attributes this to his positive outlook on life and his ability to introduce himself to the world as just Rudy, rather than as married Rudy. He also speaks highly of his ex-wife and never speaks ill of her, which women find attractive.
But what really attracts him to a woman is her personality. He looks for someone who takes care of herself, has a great smile, and a great sense of humor. He loves banter and wit, and chemistry is essential. He finds confidence in a woman to be very attractive and values personality over physical appearance.
This guest speaker's experience highlights the importance of personality in dating. While physical attraction is undoubtedly a factor, it is not the most important one. A person's personality, sense of humor, confidence, and chemistry are all essential elements in forming a connection with someone.
It is essential to look beyond physical appearance and focus on the person's character and personality. When you find someone who has a great personality, they become more attractive to you over time. Physical appearance may fade, but a person's character and personality remain constant.
In conclusion, personality trumps physical attraction in dating. While physical attraction is a factor, it is not the most important one. A person's personality, sense of humor, confidence, and chemistry are all essential elements in forming a connection with someone. It is essential to look beyond physical appearance and focus on the person's character and personality. When you find someone who has a great personality, they become more attractive to you over time.
Adjusting sexuality for partners.
However, adjusting one's sexuality for partners is also crucial in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. As discussed in the podcast, different partners may have different preferences and desires when it comes to sex. It is important to communicate with your partner and be open to exploring new things together. This may involve adjusting your sexual style or trying new things that your partner is interested in.
One example of this is the discussion of "making love" versus "fucking" in the podcast. While some partners may prefer a more intimate and sensual approach, others may prefer a more aggressive and physical approach. It is important to understand your partner's needs and desires and adjust accordingly. This may involve experimenting with different styles and techniques to find what works best for both partners.
Another important aspect of adjusting sexuality for partners is being open to feedback and direction. As discussed in the podcast, some partners may have specific requests or preferences when it comes to sex. It is important to listen to your partner and be willing to take direction and adjust your approach accordingly. This can help to enhance the experience for both partners and strengthen the overall connection.
In conclusion, adjusting sexuality for partners is an essential aspect of maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It involves being open to communication, exploring new things together, and being willing to adjust your sexual style to fit your partner's needs and desires. By doing so, you can strengthen the connection between you and your partner and create a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience.
Women more sexually confident now.
However, it seems that women have become more sexually confident in recent years, as discussed in a podcast featuring a man who experienced a divorce in the 2010s. He noted that women he had dated after his divorce were more sexually aggressive and willing to explore different sexual activities, such as hair pulling and spanking. He also mentioned that he encountered more women who were willing to perform oral sex on him, even while driving, which he had never experienced before. The man attributed this change in sexual behavior to a shift in societal attitudes towards sexuality and the Me Too movement. Women are now more empowered to express their sexual desires and needs, and are less likely to feel shame or judgment for doing so. This newfound confidence has allowed for more open and fulfilling sexual experiences for both partners in a relationship. This shift towards sexual confidence and openness is a positive development for relationships and society as a whole. By breaking down the stigma and shame surrounding sexuality, individuals can explore and express their desires without fear of judgment or rejection. This can lead to stronger and more fulfilling relationships, as partners are able to communicate and connect on a deeper level. Overall, the podcast highlights the importance of sexual confidence and communication in maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship.
Explore all options before divorce.
However, the podcast also touches on the topic of divorce and the importance of exploring all options before making the decision to end a marriage. The speaker shares his personal experience of going through a divorce and the challenges he faced due to his Hispanic and Catholic upbringing, where divorce is seen as an abomination under God. He was banished from his family and friends and found himself alone in the dating world.
Despite the difficulties he faced, the speaker advises others to explore every possible option to save their marriage before deciding on a divorce. He emphasizes the importance of fighting for the relationship if you love your partner and doing everything you can to save it. This way, even if the marriage does end in divorce, you can have peace of mind knowing that you tried everything.
The speaker also advises taking time to heal and seek therapy before finalizing a divorce. He shares how he enrolled in therapy immediately after deciding to go forward with the divorce, and it took about a year for the divorce to become finalized. During this time, he was able to internalize his own behavior and have the necessary discussions to heal and move on.
Furthermore, the podcast offers advice for those who may be struggling with communication in their relationship, particularly around the topic of sex. The speaker shares how he failed to listen to his ex-wife's needs and desires, which led to a breakdown in their sexual relationship. He advises finding neutral ground, such as going for walks, to have sensitive conversations and being open and honest about your needs and desires. He also suggests using visual aids, such as educational pornography, to communicate your desires and preferences.
In conclusion, the podcast highlights the importance of exploring all options before divorce and emphasizes the value of fighting for your relationship if you love your partner. It also offers advice for improving communication in a relationship, particularly around the sensitive topic of sex. By taking the time to heal and communicate openly and honestly, individuals can maintain healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Communication and selflessness are key.
One of the main themes that emerges from the podcast is the importance of communication in a relationship. The hosts discuss how they were able to improve their sex life by talking openly with each other about their needs and desires. They also stress the importance of having conversations outside of the bedroom, in a neutral setting, to avoid defensiveness and resentment. By being open and honest with each other, couples can create a safe and supportive environment where they can explore their desires and deepen their intimacy.
Another key theme that emerges from the podcast is the importance of selflessness in a relationship. The hosts discuss how they learned to prioritize their partner's needs over their own, particularly during difficult times. They emphasize the importance of adapting to change and being willing to evolve as a person in order to support your partner. This kind of selflessness can be challenging, but it is essential for building a strong and lasting relationship.
The hosts also offer some practical advice for improving communication and selflessness in a relationship. They suggest that couples rewrite their vows to include a promise to continue to evolve and grow with each other. They also stress the importance of being willing to put your partner's needs first, even when it is difficult or inconvenient.
In conclusion, the podcast highlights the importance of communication and selflessness in building and maintaining a healthy relationship. By being open and honest with each other, and by prioritizing your partner's needs over your own, couples can create a safe and supportive environment where they can deepen their intimacy and grow together. While relationships can be challenging, with the right mindset and approach, they can also be incredibly fulfilling and rewarding.
Prioritize your partner above all.
The podcast emphasizes the importance of prioritizing your partner above all else in a relationship. The guests on the show discuss their experiences with putting their children before their spouse and how it ultimately led to the end of their marriages. They stress the importance of learning from their mistakes and making their partner the number one priority in their new relationships.
One guest shares how her parents always prioritized each other, and how that was one of the secrets to their successful marriage. While it may be challenging to prioritize your partner over your children, especially when they require 24-hour care, it is important to find time and space to do so. This can be achieved through communication and finding ways to have sacred couple time together that fulfills both partners' needs.
The podcast also touches on the importance of self-care and prioritizing your own needs. It is essential to take care of yourself and your partner to ensure a healthy and happy relationship. By prioritizing your partner's needs and showing them love and affection, you can create a safe and supportive environment where you can deepen your intimacy and grow together.
In conclusion, prioritizing your partner above all else is essential for a healthy and successful relationship. It requires communication, selflessness, and a willingness to put your partner's needs before your own. While it may be challenging at times, the rewards of a strong and fulfilling relationship are worth the effort. By learning from the mistakes of past relationships and making your partner the number one priority, you can create a loving and supportive environment that will stand the test of time.
Balancing parenthood and relationships.
The podcast transcript revolves around the topic of balancing parenthood and relationships. The speakers share their personal experiences and offer advice for those struggling to find the right balance.
One speaker talks about how her parents had boundaries for their relationship, which allowed her to feel taken care of as a child. She acknowledges that she cannot speak to the experience of motherhood, but can speak to what it was like as a child. She asks the other speaker, Rudy, who recently became a father, how he is creating a different balance this time around and what advice he would give to others struggling to find the balance.
Rudy shares how he felt forgotten and left out when his ex-wife became a mother. He was concerned that the same would happen with his fiancé, who is a single mother. However, she has been very supportive and makes sure to show him love and attention, even when taking care of their child. Rudy emphasizes the importance of being selfless and putting your partner's needs above your own, especially during the early stages of parenthood.
The speakers also touch upon the topic of cheating and how it can be a result of feeling neglected in a relationship. They stress the importance of prioritizing your partner and making sure they feel loved and appreciated, even when children are involved.
In conclusion, balancing parenthood and relationships requires communication, selflessness, and a willingness to put your partner's needs before your own. It may be challenging at times, but the rewards of a strong and fulfilling relationship are worth the effort. By learning from past mistakes and making your partner the number one priority, you can create a loving and supportive environment that will stand the test of time.
Avoid cheating through honest communication.
One of the most challenging aspects of any relationship is avoiding cheating. It can be a difficult topic to discuss, but it is essential to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and desires. In a recent podcast, a couple discussed their experience with cheating and how they learned to communicate effectively to prevent it from happening again.
The husband in the podcast shared his experience of emotional cheating, which stemmed from feeling like a failure in his marriage. He was working long hours to support his family and felt like he couldn't provide the life his wife deserved. He found validation and respect at work, which led him to seek emotional connection with a younger colleague. Although he ultimately confessed and was forgiven, the experience taught him the importance of honest communication and not letting negative feelings fester.
The couple emphasized the importance of having an honest conversation with your partner if you are feeling unfulfilled or unsatisfied in the relationship. It can be scary to admit your vulnerabilities and needs, but it is necessary to prevent cheating from happening. By having an open and honest dialogue, you can work together to find solutions and meet each other's needs.
It is also essential to recognize the warning signs of cheating. While it may not always be apparent, there are red flags to look out for, such as changes in behavior, secrecy, and lack of intimacy. If you suspect your partner is cheating, it is crucial to confront them and have an honest conversation. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse and potentially lead to further betrayal.
In conclusion, avoiding cheating through honest communication is crucial in any relationship. By being open and vulnerable with your partner, you can prevent negative feelings from festering and potentially leading to infidelity. It is also important to recognize the warning signs of cheating and address them promptly. By prioritizing your relationship and putting in the effort to communicate effectively, you can create a strong and fulfilling partnership that will stand the test of time.
Trust your intuition, investigate red flags.
The podcast discussed the importance of trusting your intuition and investigating red flags in relationships. One of the most significant red flags is a change in behavior, such as a sudden increase in confidence or a change in appearance. These changes could indicate that your partner is cheating on you, and it is essential to investigate further.
The podcast also highlighted the importance of communication in preventing cheating. By being open and honest with your partner, you can prevent negative feelings from festering and potentially leading to infidelity. It is crucial to prioritize your relationship and put in the effort to communicate effectively to create a strong and fulfilling partnership that will stand the test of time.
Furthermore, the podcast discussed the importance of intuition in detecting cheating. Women's intuition, in particular, is compared to the force in Star Wars, as it is accurate and should be trusted. It is crucial to listen to your body and pay attention to any warning signs of cheating, such as a change in behavior or sudden unexplained absences.
The podcast also shared some creative ways to investigate potential cheating, such as investigating PTO or checking a partner's car for signs of sexual activity. While these methods may seem extreme, they highlight the importance of taking action when you suspect something is amiss in your relationship.
In conclusion, trust your intuition and investigate red flags in relationships. By being open and vulnerable with your partner, communicating effectively, and paying attention to warning signs, you can prevent cheating and create a strong and fulfilling partnership. Remember, prevention is always better than cure, so take action promptly if you suspect something is wrong in your relationship.
Own your life, make it positive.
The phrase "own your life, make it positive" is a powerful mantra that can help individuals take control of their lives and live a fulfilling and satisfying existence. This philosophy encourages people to take responsibility for their actions, thoughts, and emotions, and to actively work towards creating a positive and meaningful life.
One of the key ways to own your life and make it positive is to cultivate a strong sense of self-awareness and self-reflection. This means taking the time to examine your thoughts and emotions, and to identify any negative patterns or beliefs that may be holding you back. By becoming more aware of your inner world, you can begin to make positive changes that will improve your overall well-being.
Another important aspect of owning your life is to take action towards achieving your goals and dreams. This means setting clear and achievable goals, and then taking the necessary steps to make them a reality. Whether it's pursuing a new career, starting a business, or traveling the world, taking action towards your dreams can help you feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your life.
In addition, owning your life also means taking responsibility for your relationships. This includes being honest and open with your partner, communicating effectively, and paying attention to warning signs of trouble. By being proactive in your relationships, you can prevent cheating and create a strong and meaningful partnership that will bring you happiness and fulfillment.
Ultimately, the key to owning your life and making it positive is to take control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. By cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, setting clear goals, and taking responsibility for your relationships, you can create a life that is full of joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment. So if you're ready to take ownership of your life and make it positive, start by taking small steps towards your goals and dreams, and watch as your life transforms before your eyes.
Managing multiple platforms is challenging.
In today's digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives. As a result, many individuals and businesses have started using multiple platforms to reach their target audience. However, managing multiple platforms is not an easy task. It requires time, effort, and a lot of dedication. In this essay, we will discuss the challenges of managing multiple platforms and the strategies that can help overcome them.
One of the biggest challenges of managing multiple platforms is the time commitment. Each platform requires unique content, engagement, and monitoring. For instance, Facebook and YouTube require longer-form content, while TikTok requires shorter, attention-grabbing videos. Therefore, creating content for each platform can be time-consuming and exhausting. Additionally, engaging with the audience, responding to comments, and monitoring the analytics of each platform can also be time-consuming.
Another challenge of managing multiple platforms is the need for consistency. Consistency is key when it comes to social media. Posting regularly and maintaining a consistent tone and style is essential for building a strong brand identity. However, with multiple platforms, it can be challenging to maintain consistency across all platforms. It is important to ensure that the content posted on each platform is consistent with the brand's identity.
Moreover, managing multiple platforms can also be challenging in terms of resources. Small businesses or individuals may not have the resources to hire a social media manager or a team to manage multiple platforms. Therefore, they have to manage everything on their own, which can be overwhelming.
Despite these challenges, there are strategies that can help overcome them. Firstly, it is important to prioritize the platforms that are most relevant to the target audience. This will help in creating content that resonates with the audience and saves time and resources. Secondly, creating a content calendar can help in planning and organizing the content for each platform. This will ensure that the content is consistent and relevant. Thirdly, using automation tools can help in scheduling posts, responding to comments, and monitoring analytics. This will save time and help in managing multiple platforms efficiently.
In conclusion, managing multiple platforms is challenging, but it is essential for businesses and individuals to reach their target audience. It requires time, effort, and dedication. However, by prioritizing the platforms, creating a content calendar, and using automation tools, individuals and businesses can overcome the challenges and manage multiple platforms efficiently.
